Change Your Underwear, Change Your World.

A few weeks ago I received a call from my friend Chris “Mackenzie, I need to tell you something. I have a huge opportunity for you.” I was aggressively curious as to what could possibly be so urgent, especially at 11pm on a tuesday. “I just found this out today, but apparently when girls get their period they don’t know exactly when it is going to come”– Holy shit. The fact that my friend was unaware of this reality that every single women experiences was mind blowing. Is menstruation really a topic so taboo that we are meant to be ashamed of it? Are men around the world cringing at the idea of a shedding uterus lining? Sorry you can’t appreciate the visual, I wish I could share the beautiful reality that cramps are with you.

My friend went on, “Because you guys aren’t aware of the exact moment that you’re getting your period, you ruin a lot of underwear” (this is also true, and probably a lot less obvious to your average dude) “the other day I met a women who I know you’ll love, and she’s created an underwear that solves this problem.” As if his opening statement wasn’t intriguing enough, I was starting to get extremely excited about what could come out of his mouth next. Chris went on to tell me about Miki Agrawal, a women he had met through his NYC internship. He insisted that I would absolutely love her and that like myself she is a badass with big ideas and a passion for helping women. 

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What if I told you that underwear could change the world?

The idea is simple, 67 million girls in Africa alone (and millions more around the world) are without basic sanitary needs. For every pair of underwear you purchase from Thinx, you help one girl in a developing country stay in school by giving her 7 washable, reusable cloth pads. This allows women to have a job, stay in school, and overall become more productive members of society. One purchase by YOU donates enough pads to last a women an entire year. (Watch her Ted Talk.)

Humanitarian panties, awesome– but how does this benefit us? I talked to Miki over the phone and she explained Thinx underwear to me in detail. The first layer is moisture wicking, so you’re consistently feeling dry. Second layer is stain resistant, so you’ll never have to group these together with your nasty VS period panties. Next layer is for absorption, which depending on the style can hold between 2 and 6 teaspoons with ease. Last is the leak-proof layer, keeping your clothes the color they were meant to be, forever.

The team over at Thinx sent me a pair to write a “honest review” on. They told me they wanted me to be honest because they knew there was no way I wasn’t going to love them. So when I received my new pair or cheeky underwear in the mail (just in time, by the way), I was beyond excited to try them out. They were basic (the style I chose), but definitely attractive. They were slightly thicker than the underwear I’m used to, but the extra layer is where all the science takes place. To give you a rough idea of what they felt like— underwear on the inside and a matte bathing suit on the outside. In addition to being incredibly soft, the comfort of knowing I wasn’t running the risk of destroying my new skirt was the most comfortable feeling of all. No leaks, no stains, no worries. 

I challenge you to buy a pair of underwear from Thinx. You have the opportunity to change your life for the better, and improve another women’s future completely. What are you waiting for? 

 

 

 

*No Response*

The following post is about a topic near and dear to my heart: ignored texts.

 

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Recently a coworker told me about a guy she is seeing/really likes. He’s fit, foreign, and has recently stopped responding to her text messages. Now, I’m well aware that in the past I’ve written about bros who can’t catch a hint– but this is different. Why? Because they didn’t meet blackout at a bar and have a one-night stand. He asked her to pick him up blueberries at a farmer’s market a week into meeting… shits real.

A month ago I *accidentally* hooked up with a former flame. He wasn’t entirely enthusiastic about playing the role of a hipster-heartbreaker the last time he was featured on my blog, so I was pretty shocked to find him flirting with me at the end of the night. Does vodka really mend a wound so deep? I’m not sure, but I like to forgive/forget and repeat offending doesn’t add to your ####! So, despite a history of whiskey dick and unanswered text messages I gave in. He asked my forgiveness for hurting me years ago and I accepted his apology. Fast forward a week later and VOILA! unanswered text messages. Don’t worry guys, he’s still alive…. he was sure to submit an awkward hookup story to my blog.

I can catch a hint even in the least obvious form, I’m not an idiot. This purpose of this post isn’t to bad-mouth ex-hookups or bash the opposite sex. Both men and women are equally guilty of the cowardly fadeout– the never ending cycle that allows us both to believe it is acceptable to make each other feel like nuisances. I’m not looking for an apology, boyz. I’m looking for growth. If I were to ask you a question in person you wouldn’t walk away. If a same-sex acquaintance of yours were to text you, you probably wouldn’t ignore them.

I would never get naked in front of someone I wouldn’t want to text me– assume most girls feel the same way. The main difference between men and women when it comes to ignoring texts is that women (GENERALLY) ignore men they have no interest in sleeping with; men ignore women they’ve already slept with. Don’t make someone feel vulnerable only to turn around and leave them to believe they aren’t even worth a response. If I’m crazy, know its because that is what you made me.

Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off”

 

To the surprise of nobody, I am obsessed with Taylor Swift’s new song “Shake it Off”– actually, thats an understatement. I’ve listed to the song 5 times in the past hour. TSwift acknowledges that she isn’t the sexiest dancer, that a lot of people don’t care for her, but haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, etc. So for those of you who “hate her”, at least now you are aware that she doesn’t give AF. TEAM TAY.

“I go on too many dates, but I can’t make them stay”

Taylor, I relate to you. I love you. Don’t stop grooving.

#CosmoOnCampus

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I love Cosmopolitan, which is why I am THRILLED to be working as an on campus representative for them at Suffolk this fall! Part of my responsibility as an OCR is to sell subscriptions– fortunately at a 69% discount (classic, Cosmo.) If you want to find out all about how to spice up your bedroom or kill it on your first date, subscribe. Otherwise, continue being lame I guess.

 

Click here to subscribe for 1 year for only $15!

Enjoy, and you’re welcome :) 

Sinner Jacket: Style Saint

This summer a close friend of mine Chelsea (checkout her blog here) interned at Style Saint; a contemporary clothing company located in LA that is creating effortless style for Earth-loving babes! Their collection is made up of lace and silk pieces that are created locally, sustainably, and ETHICALLY. While we are obviously *obsessed* that Style Saint is eco-friendly, it helps that their ready-wear collection is not only adorable, but is also affordable. 

My first purchase: the “Saint Society” jacket. I had the option of choosing “sinner” or “saint” and I chose sinner (of course.) 

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Melissa (top 3) paired the Saint Society jacket with a striped Brandy Melville dress, Lucky Brand flats, and a vintage Coach satchel. I chose to pair it with a J Brand ready-wear silk tank, black harem pants from H&M and black Ash sneaker wedges. The jacket is the perfect statement piece for the fall (no matter what your “style” is!) 

Checkout Style Saint and for those of you who are creative– join “Saint Society” and create an inspiration board (if you’re prepared to be addicted.) 

When you join you get $10 off your first purchase and using the code “SAINTLOVE15″ you get 15%! 

Enter To Win A Frolic and Frill Turban Headband!

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It is no secret that I am *obsessed* with turban headbands. Unfortunately, despite their popularity I have found that is hard to find them (or at least super cute ones.) Luckily Jenna Sacco’s Etsy site “Frolic and Frill” has the cutest selection on the internet for a very reasonable price. Her new Fall collection is out now, and by using the code “sparklesandsecrets15″ you get 15% off her site until SUNDAY! 

Click here to view Frolic and Frill on Etsy!

 

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Enter to win this adorable cream headband!

Oh one last thing– since we are so excited to be working with Frolic and Frill and want you to experience her amazing headbands yourself, fill out THIS FORM to win a headband for yourself! *winner will be selected by random draw*

 

 

AWKWARD/WEIRD/EMBARRASSING HOOKUP STORIES OF THE WEEK

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Hello Everyone! Thank you for (as always) sharing your most intimately/repulsive hookup moments with me. This week is especially exciting because someone finally submitted a story that I am in (fortunately it is embarrassing on their part and not mine.) Per usual I encourage you to submit your weird stories to be featured next week.

1.) It was Saco weekend and naturally every camper was horny. Went back to a guy’s tent to hook up, bathing suit top came off, and we must have fell asleep. Waking up in the morning I realize somehow I made my way out of the tent to pass out in the dunes. Confused I roll over to go back to my tent and realize I’m topless. Fabulous. Good news was there was a plastic bag next to me, so I wrapped it around myself and made a mad dash back for my tent. Can’t wait for next year.

2.) White girl wasted is an understatement to my condition on an evening that I hooked up with a guy in my friend’s shower. Not only were we apparently VERY loud, but I also got out of the shower to find my friend’s mom watching Orange In The New Black in the other room. So of course, I sat down and watched the rest of the episode with her before passing out in the basement.

3.) One night in February of my freshman year, me and my roommate were determined to get some action, no matter how ratchet the girls may be. We found two girls who were conveniently best friends. We started making out with them and all that sha-zaz until we called a cab around 1am to bring us back to the dorm. After we hung out in our room for an hour, I went back to one of the girls rooms with hopes of doing the dirty. We start making out and I begin to take off her clothes. I have a full on erection at this point and I’m about to go in for the kill. I take off her pants and the smell of tuna encompasses the room. Long story short – her pussy smelt so rancid I couldn’t get hard again, told her I had whisky dick, and ran back to my dorm.

4.) So it’s muggy af in July a couple of years ago and I bring a girl back to my place from a party–she’s drunk, I’m ripshit wasted. Due to my intoxication, it’s taking me a while to finish. And so due to this endurance race, and the sauna-like humidity, I’m really, really sweaty. I consider myself a relatively bold sweater–but this was like Michael Jordan vs. Mia Hamm Gatorade commercials circa 1996. SO, as it goes when it’s all said and done we get to sleeping. I wake up around ten hung over as sin, but what I really want to highlight is that I’d pissed myself in my sleep. Ripshit is ripshit. He who’s never wronged cast the first stone, fuckers. But yeah, so like I said I’d pissed myself and so I’m all like Oh Shit this is embarrassing. So she wakes up and turns over to see me sheetless in a spread of my own piss. But she just props her head up on one arm and goes: “look at you there. . . In your little pool of sweat.” Me: “YEP.” Crisis diverted.

5.) Like most of these stories, this was a drunk freshman year of college night. I’m not sure how we ended up where we did, but I was hooking up with one of my friends in a different friend’s dorm room. And just as my hookup friend went down on me, I felt like I was going to puke. I stopped him and went “I think I need a bucket” just in time to puke into the homeowner’s trash can. I was mortified, and I said to my hookup that I should clean the trash can, but my hookup said “I’m sure the kid who lives here will think it’s his” … I actually mentioned this to the kid whose room it was now that we’re out of college, and he said he never noticed vomit that wasn’t his own in his trash can!

6.) I was hooking up with this guy at school for a few weeks. Our last night together before summer break we decided to have sex somewhere crazy because, why not? We ended up doing it on the center of the football field. As we started hooking up not only did all the lights in the stadium turn on but it started pouring rain. Think its kinda romantic? Think again. Mid-thrust he shrieked in pain. Apparently his right nut was infected. Pour kid was in such excruciating pain I thought he was going to the be next Lance Armstrong. The night ended in a limp penis and we haven’t spoken since. I really hope his balls are intact…

7.) Ok so there was this girl I always liked (more than just being a guy and wanting to sleep with everyone, there was something about her.) When I finally got her to come over she brought 2 friends with her (one of which took one step in my house and passed out on the floor.) So, after a couple of hours of me drinking and watching tv I started hooking up with this girl (ooh em gee finally!) I don’t know what came over me but I just started laughing.She went to lay down and I felt like that made her uncomfortable. I was pissed I fucked it up. Stop there!? Absolutely not. I was really horny so I brought her friend up to my room where I receive the worst blowjob known to man. There was teeth involved to the point that later I had to check to make sure I still had a dick– only to find that there were teeth marks all over (they actually turned purple and bruised.) Karma.

8.) I went back to this guys apartment after meeting him that very night. We hooked up but I got weirded out by him so basically I pretended to fall asleep so I didn’t have to continue with this awkward hookup. I wake up around 5 am, all the lights in the room are on and the kid is standing at the foot of the bed looking like he’s fully awake and conscious. (I’m obviously freaking out thinking he’s gonna kill/kidnap me or something). He then proceeds to fully pull out his penis and straight up pee on the ironing board at the foot of his bed for probably about 90 seconds straight. Needless to say I’ve never grabbed my shit and ran out of a random house so fast in my life.

9.) Before I even considered dating my current boyfriend, we would occasionally hook up on the weekends. It was freshman year and I had the top bunk. Long story short, I got a concussion after a drunken night of “being on top.” I was out of classes for a week.

10.) I used to work at this gym where I would keep myself entertained by flirting with all of the 20-something finance guys who belonged there. This one guy had this really cool bottle opener key chain that I commented on once in passing, to which he replied by telling me he had an extra one that I could have next time he came in. No dice on the key chain. Cut to a couple of months after I stopped working there, I ran into bottle opener boy and we exchanged numbers. What started as innocent banter led to aggressive booty calls. One night after a little bit of liquid courage, I called an uber and headed out to his apartment. We ended up having extremely aggressive and raunchy (loud) sex for quite the extended period of time. Mid thrust we hear a loud knock on the door, which I naturally just assumed was a roommate asking us to keep it down. Nope. Turns out it was his crazy downstairs neighbor who he had recently fucked. To say she wasn’t happy would be an understatement. After trying to barge into the room, she exited by screaming “you’re a fucking asshole” and slamming every door in the damn place. I left the next morning with not only the bottle opener key chain and a lack of dignity, but also a vintage sox t-shirt and a legitimate bite (jaw outline) mark on my back.

11.) So I recently vacationed in Aruba with my friend’s family. Naturally while we were out at the bars we met some nice locals, one of which happened to be very charming and cute. After hanging out with our new Aruban friends several nights in a row, the “cute & charming” one, decided to spend the night in our hotel room. My friend and I drunkenly, very drunkenly, stumbled onto the pullout couch that was our bed for the week & he followed suit. After a sloppy drunken make out we passed out fast, nothing of excitement. However, much to my surprise (may or may not have blacked out??) I woke up next to Mr. Aruba… sucking his thumb while sleeping. Cute, charming, and may I add a bit childish?

12.) I started to make moves on this girl who went to my high school 3 years after we graduated. Obviously, it started on facebook with a poke and a message thread. When we eventually hung out, she was weird in person so I suggested we have a couple of drinks. Without my usual persistence, she quickly downed 4 shots and we were both feeling nice. We didn’t really connect at all but I still wanted to get my nut. Like the tooth fairy and Santa, I don’t believe in using condoms but I assured her my pull out game was strong. She was surprisingly okay with this, so I eagerly continued. When I started to get close, my spidey senses told me to start pulling out but I decided to wait it out a little longer, and pull out right before I came. Never ignore your spidey senses. As I am about to come, I start to pull out. She decides she wants me to come in her asshole and lifts her legs into the air, exposing her balloon knot. Also having a couple of shots in me, I decide this is a great idea. Unfortunately, I don’t make it in time to slip it in her poop chute and instead I came all over her grundle. This wouldn’t have been as bad but instead she decides to start fingering herself with my cum. Luckily, she didn’t get pregnant but I learned a very valuable lesson that day: never call back a girl who likes cum in her asshole.

13.) One time in high school my bf at the time and I were having sex in the guest bedroom at some random kids party and my bf was wicked drunk and I kept asking if he was going to be sick and after my third time asking he leaned over me and threw up all over the floor, and not just the floor, but also all over my shorts, underwear and shoes. None of my friends were at the party and my bfs best friend had already left so I had to go find the owner of the house to help me take care of business until I realized we were in the guest room and there was nothing to change into and had to approach the entire party in my boyfriends clothing #classy.

14.) I was at a party, bored, mad at my ex boyfriend, and in a room full of guys I’d never met so I decided to hook up with the one that looked the most harmless. We got to his room and it got down to the point pretty fast. Normally I enjoy when sex can last longer than four minutes, but I noticed something was up because this was taking too long. When we finally finish he drops this bomb on me “you’re the first girl I’ve ever came for” bye. I gotta get out of here, but my phone is across the city umass amherst claims as a campus. So I sleep there. The next morning I’m desperately trying to get a hold of my friends on this kid’s computer, and they tell me to go to the dining hall. The whole way there he’s acting like we’re gonna hang out that day, like sorry pal I’m not the first girl who wants to spend time with you either. But as we’re driving something beautiful happens. A car comes out of nowhere and hits us on the drivers side. He’s fine, I’m fine, the world is lookin great. He looks so embarrassed as he tells me to “just go on, this could take a while.” and I try not to look to eager as I jump out of the car apologizing for the awful morning. I flee the scene thanking the universe for doing me a solid, but at what cost? (he’s fine, I saw him four months later, it was a shitty convertible any way)

15.) I was at a party in college, flirting with this kid Mike, who at the time seemed super sexy. We went back to his place and were fooling around a bit, and that’s pretty much all I remember. In the morning, I found myself 1) unaware of where I was, and 2) a not-so-hot sweaty mess, ass naked, face down on his mattress. When I awkwardly asked him if we had sex, he said “we were going to, but you laughed at the size of my penis…then asked if we could still cuddle”. I felt like a jerk, but now seeing Mike through sober eyes, I’m glad my drunken self had the good sense to turn down for micropenis. He didn’t give up though, and tried to get with me the next weekend at a space themed party while I was wearing an alien suit.

Think your life is more ratchet? Share your stories with me HERE

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